For about five minutes yesterday, my campus was beautiful. Today, it started raining, which means I had to bundle up to make the OUTDOOR hike to the restroom. Which means I'm grumpy about my habitat today, and the leaves are gone. And also means about five months of trying to avoid using the restroom during class because the journey outside is too cold. Grr.
But for one day, nice.
Here's a bit of a hodgepodge post, I guess. A long way to say things are not so bad anymore. So you can skip the rest of this if you want.
Friday I had a reading--my first real reading--for Under the Gum Tree. I read a nonfiction piece I wrote last year. My sister and a bunch of my friends from work and school came to see me read, which was nice.
The actual reading part? Not so bad. About like Back to School night in front of the parents, honestly. I talked too quickly, per usual. I was worried about running over the ten minute (suggested) time limit. I think that probably didn't help me slow down. I was way more nervous about it being broadcast on the web than the whole live thing. It's easy to read a room and know how you're doing, but the idea of beaming out into the Internets as it was happening was... weird. Cool, but weird.
I'm trying hard to work my way back to the semblance of being a mom again. Making life happen over here like it's supposed to. This weekend was hard--a low, low point for me in post-thesis fatigue and emotional issues--and I ended up with a migraine on Sunday morning. Why wouldn't I? We were having Addie's birthday party, and I was completely unable to help with anything. So that was a fun little bout with guilt. But thanks to E, his mom, and my parents, Miss Roo had a good birthday party and is now--officially--11 years old.
We took the two kids out for teppanyaki for her birthday--they've never been--and they cracked up.
Sunday night after Addie's party, I was finally feeling better, so I decided it was time to do what I do best: plan. When I say that I have let the routines around here go, that's the understatement of the year. I thrive on routine, too. But not only have I not been doing things like shopping, planning meals, packing lunches, running errands, that kind of thing, I haven't been EATING.
Seriously. I haven't been putting food in my own mouth. That's how bad it has gotten in the last few months. I've lost a lot of weight (not in a good way), and I'm tired all the time. I think the whole not eating thing is not contributing to my overall sense of wellness as a human being. So the first thing I did was make a plan (I am not joking) to wake up on Monday and eat three meals.
But I tried to spend Sunday doing my Sunday things. It's been so long. I got a roast ready for the crock pot, and I made our lunches, and I set the coffee pot. These are small things. Dumb things. But these are the things that overwhelm me when the alarm goes off in the morning and I lay there and I think I can't. I seriously just can't. So I wasn't 100% successful Monday, but I was a whole lot more successful than I have been. Which, of course, made me feel good. And that combined with the eating is like a whole new level of amazing.
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't discuss this recent development in picky/difficult/needy/sensitive dog issues, chez nous. The other night I put one of E's T shirts on Hurley as a joke. The kids are both completely into Harry Potter right now, and we joke all the time about how Hurley looks like Dobby when his ears stick out. He kind of acts like Dobby, too.
Anyway, I put that shirt on him and we had a laugh for about three minutes, but then Freaky Nervous Dog was suddenly the calmest I've ever seen him. And this was on the heels of waking me and E an average of three to four times the night before. He fell asleep instantly with that thing on, and he slept through the night.
I put it back on him the next night, just to test the theory, and he slept through again.
What strange new reality is this? Are we these people? This is what's happening over here, America.