Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. 13 years. I was going to sit down and write about it, about our day of running kids here and there and cleaning house and buying some more new stuff for the backyard this weekend... write about our anniversary that was shaping up to be lovely despite the fact that a baseball game was scheduled for the boy and we were just going to have a lazy cheeseburger at BJs, but I was pretty sure that was how 13 was supposed to be.
But then Boston. So sad.
There just aren't the right words for it, but I keep thinking about this: it's been a little over a year since I've run a race, but not long enough that I consider that part of my life to be over. What touched me most at my first running event was the awesome, supportive, uplifting spirit that people had in the corrals and in the crowd. Every race I ran from that first one felt that way. I can't imagine the positive power of an amazing race like Boston. When I finished my one (ridiculously long, but hard-fought) full marathon, the sight of my husband and kids at the finish line was like nothing I've ever experienced. For something like this to happen at that wonderful place... hurts. And I have to remind myself that it was designed to make all of us feel scared and sick and angry. Gah. Awful.
I keep trying to focus on all the good, on those policemen who ran toward the blasts. On the strangers who helped each other. There's way more good in the world than bad. I know.
Anyway. So I wore a race shirt today to work, from my marathon. Something to do. A way to feel connected to that good in the world, to the community of runners that's definitely out there, sending love, being good to each other.
Sigh. And life goes on. It must.
Speaking of good, there's a lot of it in my house. Much to be thankful for. Anniversaries always make me feel grateful not just for the relationship I have with E, but for this life. This whole deal.
For this guy. Who is trying so hard to be a good ballplayer this year.
And, in the interest of stalling at every turn, will sneak into my bed (in his underpants) with his Captain Underpants books and try to stay up past his bedtime, reading. Who could resist that smile?
Tonight he had baseball practice (it's always one or the other lately, practice or game), so he and E were gone for the better part of the evening and I got some alone time with Roo. Great, in that she and I are getting much more time together and that is always a good thing. Not great in that tonight it was Meltdown City, Population: Roo. We had a little bit of a stress situation on our hands about the 5th grade Constitution musical, and her role as James Madison.
Don't worry, I fixed it. And then E came home and he fixed it some more. There were tears, but then there were great big hugs from Mom and Dad that were bigger than the worry.
That's what I'm thankful for. These monkeys, this life. A husband who I can tag and he can jump in right where I left off.
Even when life throws in a big, loud bad, there's always so much good.