Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Silent Night


On my nightstand:

A letter, needing a reply.
Charging Kindle.
New New Yorkers. My (first ever) very own.
Library books & books about which I'll write critical papers. (Later. Who knows when.)

10:49 PM, Christmas Day, 2012.

I'm tucked into bed, but I'm playing with my new point and shoot camera. I took pictures with it all day and they all came out lame. Yellowy. Out of focus. Crappy camera-like. Since it's not a crappy camera, I was convinced it was user error and I've been sitting here trying to figue out how whatever "auto" setting I had it on was the wrong "auto" setting. I've been taking pictures of the sleeping dog, the TV (a new to me episode of last season's Person of Interest... that's how deep we're into the DVR tonight), and the stack of books on my newly organized nightstand. I think I have it now.

Organized is code for the fact that I stacked some books there tonight after finally unpacking from MFA residency. I've been tripping over two purple suitcases and a quilted bag full of books, business cards, and scribbled bits of paper since I got home nine days ago. You know, it just didn't happen, what with the Christmases and all. But tonight I returned home from E's parents with a new set of electric toothbrushes, and dammit if I didn't need a clean bathroom worthy of their splendor. Clean bathroom begat laundry sorting, which begat clean bedroom, which begat unpacked suitcase, which begat nightstand book stack. Ta da.

E is out in the front room, swearing at his XBox. The monkeys collapsed into their flannel sheets hours ago. Hurley dog is snoring away in his chair. All is calm, all is bright.

Christmas was good, certainly a healthy dose of extended family. But this year wasn't relaxed for me. December is hard. This one, especially. I've been tense and tired. Weird combo. What I wanted was to relax, but I didn't quite get there. Still, my children continue to bless me with the way they bring me immediately and decisively into the moment. Christmas with them is like nothing else I know. I couldn't sleep last night, I was so excited for them.

Tomorrow I have plans to clean the whole house and grade 100 Hamlet essays and take a nap and cook healthy meals for the entire week and put away all of the presents and decorations and trash.

Or, alternately: get up late and have a big cup of coffee.

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