Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Weird Stuff in my Purse

Ahhhh. Let's have a moment of silence for my MAJOR comfort food dinner. Hamburger patty. Buttered noodles. Broccoli and mayo.

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Amen.

So, this morning I was feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. Turns out I was actually carrying the weight of the world IN MY PURSE.  You couldn't actually say I've been real good about cleaning it out lately. I tend to just keep carrying around anything I put in there until my shoulder hurts so bad I have to dump the contents.

Let's investigate.

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Okay. This part isn't so bad. Normal looking purse.

Yes, there's a pair of tennies in there. That's not awful, right?

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Okay. This is all par for the course. 

The good:
Wallet(s), pens (ONLY THREE, ARE YOU SO PROUD OF ME?), Chapsticks (again, only 2--a perfectly reasonable number), checkbook, sunglasses, makeup, ibuprofen, nail file, earplugs (for emergency writing activities), gum, spare change, two pair of earrings that I took off on my drive home from work. Bobby pins are a bit out of control, but it has been worse. And we won't talk about the fact that I bought those nuts when I was in Palm Springs. In June. And I've been carrying them in my purse since then.

Ahem.

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Here's where it starts to go downhill.

The bad:
Loads and loads of trash (but mostly receipts, and no spoiled food or food trash... improvement!), Kohl's and Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons (for shopping emergencies, since I NEVER have the Kohl's coupon when I go), papers I was supposed to sign on Henry's Back to School Night and return last week (oops), a guide to being evaluated at school (hooray) and my adjunct duty sign-up sheet.

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This is where things really go off the rails. I repeat: ALL OF THIS WAS IN MY PURSE. FOR DAYS AT A TIME. WEEKS, MAYBE.

The ugly:
A recipe for pork (from Williams-Sonoma, pilfered from the store on the day K and I went to San Francisco), a pineapple cutter. I'll give you a second to sit with that one. Walking shoes. POTUS, peeking out from behind my walking shoes. A weird monkey ball. A bookmark from Oxford (from E's aunt who was just there). Spanglish (the movie). And an empty jam jar.

TA-DA!

1 comment:

  1. Dare I ask how a pineapple cutter found its way into your purse? I'm intrigued....

    ReplyDelete