Thursday, June 14, 2012


You know that thing where you get home from vacation and you empty out all the moldy food in your fridge and you're all there is no food in this house because I've been gone for two weeks and you decide heyI'm going to just run to the store to pick up a few things and then you're all well, I better feed the dog, too... he likes eating... and then you're like damn, I better go to Costco because we're out of TP, too and then you get to Costco and you suddenly realize that instead of the three items you wrote on your list (because as you were going out the door you remembered that you need AA batteries to make ALL of the things in your house run) you discover that really, you need, like, 14 items that all cost $16.99 each and it doesn't make sense to pay $5 for tiny hummus at the grocery store when you can get your very own giant hummus right there for 40 cents more. And then you know how you're all I guess I better run home in between Costco and the grocery store even though that wasn't the plan, because now you have a pound of lunchmeat and a sensible brick of Tillamook in your trunk and it's approaching 90 degrees outside? So you run home and schlep it all in the house? And then you pause and you're like I really wish I could just skip the damn grocery store, I'm so tired and it's already somehow almost noon, and you give that some serious thought, but then you realize there's no stretching it through this week without milk or produce, so you go to the ONE store where they have ribs on sale for $1.69 pound because your annual Father's Day Rib Cookoff is this weekend and you are NOT paying an extra 30 cents a pound, darnit, or making another trip to the store before Sunday, and you get there and they don't even have any ribs? And you spend your entire day wandering aisles and unpacking food and washing produce and suddenly it's 7:37 PM and you're like wow, that is one day of summer I can never get back?


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