Sunday, February 12, 2012

Sunday mornin'.

Okay, Sunday.  Let's do this.  You need to be productive.

Friday night I was going to rest and be ready for a weekend of work, but I didn't rest, so I didn't work. I'm drowning in papers I need to grade and I keep pushing things I need to write for grad school farther down the to-do list.  (Note to self, #1: No more pushing back the date.  Packet is due this Thursday.)

I'm mucking around in the mud of writers' block, but I know I can't even begin to concentrate on being creative if I've got nagging stacks of papers waiting for me. But I spent Friday reading Columbine rather than resting, so yesterday was a big day of catch-up, sleep-wise, and I was useless.  My body still isn't fully recovered from this yuck I've been trying to ditch.  I needed a down day, apparently.

Today is a new day.  I'm up on time, I'm gonna walk and then I'm going to get down to business and clear the grading off my plate.  I'm going to try hard not to be angry about it while I do it.  If I'm bitter (as I am, currently) about how much I have to grade and how little I want to do it, that just makes it worse.  The plan is to post up at a Starbucks with some good headphones and pound it out while drinking lots of coffee.

(Note to self, #2:)

I kind of hate February so far.  It's just kind of a stupid month.  I'm just not in the mood to do anything and summer seems so far away.  I'm having a hard time finding happiness in this moment because this moment is kind of dumb, honestly.

E and I are trying to plan a weekend away because we could totally use some alone time, but even that seems overwhelming.  We can't decide on anything.  He hates the ocean.  (I, as you know, love it.)  There's not much to do in the mountains right now since there's no snow.  Nothing looks right to me, either.  I think this is because what I really want to do is go to my family cabin and have it be summer time right now.  Since I don't have a fast forward button, this is off the list.  Everything else looks like too much trouble.  I'll keep looking.

Whine, whine, complain, complain.  Ugh.  I'm sorry.

When I'm in this kind of funk, I know I need to go into list mode.  You know, make a list.  Write all the worries down so they're out of my head.  Cross one thing off at a time.  Stop being overwhelmed and stop hoping it's all going to go away.  At least in my funk I've been able to cross some books off the list.  This week I finished The Imperfectionists, Columbine, and What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.

(Side note: I'm not going to do a full review on WITAWITAR, but it was good.  Decent.  It started better than it ended for me.  I enjoyed Murakami's mixed perspectives of writer and runner, so it was relevant to me on a couple of levels.  But the last third wasn't quite as interesting as the beginning.  It started to read more like a running blog, and I read plenty of those already.  It wasn't bad, but it didn't rock my world, either.)

Okay, time to get off the couch.  There will be no excuses today.  I am not going to rest until I am free of the stack of student essays.  May the words of my grading pen and the meditations of my jaded English teacher heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord.

1 comment:

  1. Thing will get better! Keep having that positive perspective! I feel the same way though, I just want it to be summer and daylight in the evenings and go golfing and do fun summer activities. I just got what I talk about when I talk about running from the library, I guess I will proceed with reading it?!