Monday, October 31, 2011

Finding center. Let's try again.

I'm such a freaking baby.  It doesn't take much for me to feel completely out of whack and start whining about how I'm all tired and stressed.




Guess what? I AM TIRED AND STRESSED.

So, there's that.  It's entirely my fault.  I know what things make me feel like a normal human (as opposed to the eye-twitching Crankypants McGee that I've been since Friday morning) and I know it's not too complex a recipe: enough sleep, some running, good (read: homemade) food, careful planning.  You guys, I have abandoned every single thing on that list for about three weeks. Yes, in addition to struggling to complete my homework.  Time to get back on the normal person wagon and quit being angry that I have to do everything all the time.

I think that's a normal expectation, right?  That I have to, like, do stuff.  All day.  Every day.  And NOT feel angry about it.  But I feel myself approaching the border to Crazy Town--I'm starting to resent things (like waking up every day, grading, feeding children and/or husband, household chores, homework) that I absolutely cannot hate because I absolutely have to do them.

In light of this desire to be completely zen about my own regular responsibilities (three cheers for adulthood!), I'm setting some goals for this week:

1. Get in bed every night before 9:00.  Take a Benadryl if I'm wound up tighter than Jennifer Lopez' ponytail.  Be asleep before 10:00.

2.  No TV until I've finished my packet for UCR this week.   None.  Not even a reality show.  Not even Tyra.

3.  At least 3 days of running, maybe 4.  No pressure on mileage, since I haven't run a single mile after my last half marathon.  But it's time to build that stress-relief back into my week.  I need to get my patoot out of bed and do it even if I'm tired.  I know I have more energy when I run.  I just do.

4.  Salads.  Lots.

5.  Laying things out the night before.  No excuses.  That always makes life better in the morning for everyone.

You wouldn't think any of that would be too tough, but I haven't been able to get my act together for about three weeks to do any of it.  I need a reset.  Putting it on the internet will make me one thousand times more likely to do it since I don't want to wimp out.

There you go.

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