Monday, March 21, 2011


My senior AP kids posed this question to me last Friday and I promptly told them to knock it off so we could get back to the lesson actually let it turn into a big discussion because sometimes that just happens. They wanted to talk about books--even if it was off topic I had to run with it.

Anyhoo, the question of the day was this:

Mrs. P, if you could be in a relationship with a literary character, who would it be?

Can you see why this took me way off topic and distracted me from my intended lesson plan about Animal Dreams? Rest assured, I dealt with Codi and Doc Homer with great aplomb today to make up for it. Seriously, I live for this kind of hypothetical. You also need to know that I live for making my answer too long and having too many caveats. Okay, now we can move on.

Remark #1: I already know what it's like to be in a relationship with a literary character. His name is Gluten-free E and he is (minus a hunting cap) in every way Holden Caulfied. Like, every phony-hating way. I don't mean that as a dig or a compliment, but E would be the first to tell you he's HC. For a brief moment I even floated the idea of naming Henry Holden because of it.

Remark #2: I wish Dumbledore wasn't (ostensibly) gay or really old, because he would make a really great life partner. But honestly I'd still probably choose him because I'd want to get my hands on the Pensieve. I think he'd be a great companion and very loving. Dumbledore is my runner up.

Remark #3: Most of the guys in the books I read are pretty messed up. That eliminates a lot of choices.

Remark #4: I could go for Mr. Darcy, but I'm not as big of an Austen fan as you might think. Okay, I say Mr. Darcy but only if it's the BBC, Colin Firth Darcy. Oh wait, that's more of a TV character, right? Okay, then, just Colin Firth.

Remark #5: This is off topic, but I want to be Scarlet O'Hara. She gets a few different guys and she gets to wear a dress made out of curtains. Win-win.

Remark #6: I can tell you who I would not go for in a big way: Bigger Thomas... or Meursault. Horatio might be good, because he's still alive at the end. There's something to be said for not dying, plus Horatio was pretty smart.

Remark #7: If it was someone from Romeo and Juliet it would have to be one of the fightin' cousins. Romeo is kind of a turd. Beowulf? He killed the dragon--that's always nice. I'm not sure about that Viking boasting though. Sure honey, you killed another monster. But did you take out the trash yet?

Remark #8: Atticus Finch. That's my answer.

Remark #9: If I'm going back to Harry Potter characters, I'd say Sirius Black. I was so sad when he died.

Remark #10: Can we talk about which literary character I'd most like to punch in the face? Because I have that answer at the ready. Daisy Buchanan, hands down. Homegirl needs to get it.


  1. Your answers are so funny! You always crack me up. If we are talking characters from a book, I would love to take the Robert Redford version of Jay Gatsby, and I would also love to punch Daisy Buchanan in the face!

  2. THIS is a great question and post! My immediate gut instinct would be to say Laurie for Little Women, but then, like Jo, I would realize he's not actually the love of my life. I might have to ponder and post about this!

  3. I too would punch Daisy right in the kisser!

  4. Love the question, have already thought about this a lot, and my answer has always been Howard Roark. I'm so in love with him.