Monday, March 21, 2011

Hypothetical

My senior AP kids posed this question to me last Friday and I promptly told them to knock it off so we could get back to the lesson actually let it turn into a big discussion because sometimes that just happens. They wanted to talk about books--even if it was off topic I had to run with it.

Anyhoo, the question of the day was this:

Mrs. P, if you could be in a relationship with a literary character, who would it be?

Can you see why this took me way off topic and distracted me from my intended lesson plan about Animal Dreams? Rest assured, I dealt with Codi and Doc Homer with great aplomb today to make up for it. Seriously, I live for this kind of hypothetical. You also need to know that I live for making my answer too long and having too many caveats. Okay, now we can move on.

Remark #1: I already know what it's like to be in a relationship with a literary character. His name is Gluten-free E and he is (minus a hunting cap) in every way Holden Caulfied. Like, every phony-hating way. I don't mean that as a dig or a compliment, but E would be the first to tell you he's HC. For a brief moment I even floated the idea of naming Henry Holden because of it.

Remark #2: I wish Dumbledore wasn't (ostensibly) gay or really old, because he would make a really great life partner. But honestly I'd still probably choose him because I'd want to get my hands on the Pensieve. I think he'd be a great companion and very loving. Dumbledore is my runner up.

Remark #3: Most of the guys in the books I read are pretty messed up. That eliminates a lot of choices.

Remark #4: I could go for Mr. Darcy, but I'm not as big of an Austen fan as you might think. Okay, I say Mr. Darcy but only if it's the BBC, Colin Firth Darcy. Oh wait, that's more of a TV character, right? Okay, then, just Colin Firth.

Remark #5: This is off topic, but I want to be Scarlet O'Hara. She gets a few different guys and she gets to wear a dress made out of curtains. Win-win.

Remark #6: I can tell you who I would not go for in a big way: Bigger Thomas... or Meursault. Horatio might be good, because he's still alive at the end. There's something to be said for not dying, plus Horatio was pretty smart.

Remark #7: If it was someone from Romeo and Juliet it would have to be one of the fightin' cousins. Romeo is kind of a turd. Beowulf? He killed the dragon--that's always nice. I'm not sure about that Viking boasting though. Sure honey, you killed another monster. But did you take out the trash yet?

Remark #8: Atticus Finch. That's my answer.

Remark #9: If I'm going back to Harry Potter characters, I'd say Sirius Black. I was so sad when he died.

Remark #10: Can we talk about which literary character I'd most like to punch in the face? Because I have that answer at the ready. Daisy Buchanan, hands down. Homegirl needs to get it.



4 comments:

  1. Your answers are so funny! You always crack me up. If we are talking characters from a book, I would love to take the Robert Redford version of Jay Gatsby, and I would also love to punch Daisy Buchanan in the face!

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  2. THIS is a great question and post! My immediate gut instinct would be to say Laurie for Little Women, but then, like Jo, I would realize he's not actually the love of my life. I might have to ponder and post about this!

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  3. I too would punch Daisy right in the kisser!

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  4. Love the question, have already thought about this a lot, and my answer has always been Howard Roark. I'm so in love with him.

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