Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Watermelon Cantaloupe

Every winter for most of high school and college, my dancer friends (who were also my friend friends and my church friends) and I would be a part of this huge Christmas show. The show featured plenty o' choir members and regular folk singing and dancing, and at times we had bigger parts because we could tap dance on boxes or point our toes and smile at the front of the stage so it looked like (all the) people knew what they were doing.

The show involved singing--lots of singing--and while I am comfortable making my joyful noise unto the Lord (and let me tell you that my noise is SO JOYFUL), my lack of training in the vocal arts meant that my, um, noise was less than angelic to the ears of the masses. Ditto for my motley crew of dance-mates.

At some point I remember being told "Dancers, just mouth the words 'watermelon cantaloupe' over and over again."

image via weheartit

Got it. WatermelonCantaloupeWatermelonCantaloupeWatermelonCantaloupe.

On and on we would go, a silent choir of melon-praisers at the front of the stage, our jazz hands flared, our red lips smiling and our crisp taps tapping for Jesus. I'm sure Jesus didn't mind the specifics of my contribution, anyhow. Hey, we all give according to our gifts, right? It was enough to be a part of the experience, even if I was mostly mouthing the words. I will avoid a pun on the word melancholy here, but it pains me.

Today my voice is 200% more absent then it was yesterday. When I woke up, all I could manage was a squeak. A sad, bleating little squeak that made E laugh.

I spent the better part of the day mouthing WatermelonCantaloupe. I might as well have been. Nothing of any substance from my thoughts registered with any other humans. My students kind of gave me the pity laugh that E did. Being reduced to silence is so frustrating, it bred a fatty headache by the afternoon.

I did capitalize on my silence in order to perform (thrice) a goofy lip-sync and dance number to my current obsession, Cee-Lo's "Forget You" in several of my English classes. I can't help myself. I have to move. Yes, I said FORGET YOU, of course I wasn't playing the explicit version. I so totally love that song, you know? Get ready to hear me talk about it all the time, even though it's so last fall. Don't care.

Now if you'll 'scuse me, I have a hot toddy to attend to.

1 comment:

  1. SO funny! It's kind of like mouthing olive juice instead of 'I love you', although it seems like more fun to say watermelon cantaloupe.