Monday, December 27, 2010

What I want to remember:


I want to remember everyone at Grandma Lila's wearing red, black and white. I want to remember Aunt Anne's "moonshine" and all its Christmasy spice. I want to remember surprise visitors and enough soup to feed the masses. I want to remember chaos and noise and crazy nephews. I want to remember Hurley eating Santa's cookies before the kids could even go to bed. Leaving the fireplace cracked for S.C. Kids so excited that they can't go to sleep--but so obedient and good that they oblige without complaint. I want to remember E up into the wee hours, shuffling around in the front room secretly. I want to remember waking up before the kids, more excited than I've ever been to open my own presents. This year giving was so much fun. I want to remember how it felt to be spoiled by E, how thoughtful and well-planned his gift was. I want to remember feeling so loved by what he did for me, and that knowing giving gifts is his love language makes it all the more special. I want to remember that Santa spoiled our kids because they truly were as good this year as any two kids could be. I don't know what I did to receive such a gift, but they bless me every day with their sweet spirits, their kindness, and their generosity.

I want to remember that Addie tucked two envelopes with four dollars each into our stockings, and that she gave nearly all that she had because she understands the true spirit of giving and Christmas. I want to remember Henry kissing me on both cheeks before we opened presents and saying "Mom, you're my Christmas girl." I want to remember Dad frying bacon and Mom glowing at the sight of her girls and grandkids celebrating a Christmas morning together for the first time in years. I want to remember sharing coffee with D, and managing to forget whose cup was whose. I want to remember a rainy drive to Modesto, holding hands with E. Roast "beast." Lizzy Mug in her Christmas tights, being soothed by her Uncle E. Grandpa Ted talking in my ear kindly even though the kids were distracting me. E and Kev, sharing quiet conversations that must have felt like old times. Driving home in the downpour. Kids passing out in their fancy clothes. Staying up until 1:00 AM to play with my new computer.

I want to remember Henry, barfing into E's sweatshirt in the car. A warm fire in Placerville. A mother-in-law who cooks way too much food because she loves her family that much. Hand-selected Sees that got mixed up in the wrapping. Playing Kinect with April. Lizzy kicking away on the floor. The smell of a new smoker and the sight of a happy father-in-law. Rest. I want to remember driving home, getting a special text from K as she opened her presents. I want to remember riding along in peace and gratitude, my heart fuller than the trunk or our bellies.

1 comment:

  1. What great memories! I'm so glad you had a great holiday. :-)

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