Friday, September 17, 2010

To TIRED... and BEYOND.

I have a familiar feeling today. I was tired yesterday with good reason (it was the day after Back to School Night left me drained) but today I'm something else. Something ugly. I'm beyond tired. This is what I remember about most of my years of teaching--this.

I hate to use my blog like a complaint department all the time, but I'm making an exception today so I can explore the depths of this fatigue. It's to the point where I can't really teach, only murmur some confused things at them and throw a few handouts their way, hoping for the best. Thank GOD that Friday is silent reading and group discussion day for my freshmen, or I'd really be in some trouble. Oh, my poor precious little snowflakes. They have no idea how badly I need a nap.

I'm happy I got two five-mile runs in this week, but I'm a little scared about tomorrow's planned 12-14 miler at 6:00 AM. Jeeminy Christmas, that's going to be tough for me. But I really want to do well. Plus Kel is making me. Okay, not really. But it's going to be great to get that out of the way and then enjoy my regular Sunday walk with K the next morning. I'm happy that both runs this week have been at a faster pace than I normally do--and even with some walking last night I kept it under 12:00. Victory.

I could seriously lay my head down on my desk today at work and pass out. I'm like the walking dead. Knowing I have a mountain of essay grading this weekend doesn't do anything for me either; it's like I'm pre-tired so I can get ready for that. We all know I'll push them around the dining room for two nights before I settle in and grade all day Sunday. It's cute how I think I'm going to spread them out over the weekend, but it's not a reality.

If I thought it wouldn't affect my sleep tonight, I'd suck down some more coffee this afternoon. I just know sleep is enough of an impossibility on a regular, coffee-free night that I need to ignore the nagging Siren call of the Pumpkin Spice Latte. I will not bend to your manipulation, PSL. You're a cruel mistress and you'll just leave me in the gutter in about three to four hours, tired still but unable to quiet my mind and sleep at night. A paradox of caffeination.

So there you go. Fatigue in a nutshell and some thinly-veiled whining. I'm glad I ran last night so I don't have to tonight. Tonight I need to think about getting to bed before 10:00 so I can be fresh and lively in the morning for my 12-14. It sounds like a prison sentence, don't you think?


2 comments:

  1. I have felt this ALL week. I managed 3 runs all of them crappy! I'm looking forward to tomorrow because we get to hang out but you are absolutely right 12-14 sounds likes a prison sentance!
    PS go get yourself a DECAF PSL it'll do wonders for your soul! =)

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  2. I was wondering this the other day: Do your students or colleagues know about your blog? I'm presuming they don't.

    I'm always hesitant to air any complaints about my job as every Tom, Dick and Harry in my newspaper coverage area (including my editor's daughter) reads the Lance.

    I've got my newspaper readership, my Lance readership and a lot of crossovers. While I usually don't care about offending anyone, I definitely blog with caution when it comes to my job.

    I'd love to get your take on this.

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