Monday, April 26, 2010

Why?



Why is this cold taking so long to go away? Did it just come on because I had a spurt of healthy motivation to run again? Why is it in my chest even though all the yuck came out two days ago? Why is cough medicine USELESS in my life right now? Why do I sound like Wheezy from Toy Story 2?

Why did my bloody toes have to stick to the flannel sheets last night, forcing me to peel them off, fuzzy and sticky, this morning? And why did I decide it was better to do dishes this before school today in lieu of taking a shower? And why no makeup when I already had frizzy hair? And why the too-short T-shirt, rather than finding some appropriate clothing befitting an educator? And why an AP class that's simultaneously failing at anything resembling homework or studying but succeeding at asking me every five minutes what they should do with their lives? Why are they such energy vampires? And why did all that good fortune and patient, frizzy counseling precede a surprise observation by my administrator today? (Which went fine, but you bet your sweet bippy my heart did a little skip when I realized I was being evaluated, greasy hair, bloody toes, squeak-toy cough and all.) And WHY CAN'T MY FRESHMEN JUST BE QUIET FOR THE LOVE OF GRAPEFRUIT? ...at least when someone else is watching? *sigh*

Why did I discover tonight that I gave Hurley and owie scrape on his chin when I tossed him outside last night to pee? And why did Roo have to be in tears when I picked her up from school because nobody was impressed that at seven, she'd learned to ride a bike by herself? Why is it that we have to let our kids feel their hurts so they can learn to deal with the world? Why does that hurt so bad? Why can't I believe myself when I tell her that all that matters is that she's proud of herself?

Why am I so scared about finances for next year: furloughs and paycuts that might not even save the people we need to run a school? Why can't E just get a firm answer on the job he interviewed for last week? Why can't we just have some calm and some stability, huh? Why is his Bar exam result date looming in my mind with a giant imaginary red circle?

And why ON EARTH, SWEET BABY JESUS, did E have to eat salami and sit down on the couch with me just now? Why does salami give you corpse breath, anyway? Why did I become salamiphobic?

And riddle me this: if every pair of jeans I own is a size 8 LONG Stella Bootcut W10 from Express, why was one pair made for a giant with toothpick legs? Why does another help me wade around with Noah, waiting for his flood? Why does one pair make me the muffin top master? Why am I a fatty fatty two by four in another? Why is one the perfect mix of slimming dark wash and flip-flop gracing length and a distinct knowledge of how NOT to ride up? Why? If they're all the same cut from the same store in the same size, WHY?????????????

Why?


1 comment:

  1. Why don't you ever get any comments on your blog anymore?




    Oh, and salami is awesome.

    ReplyDelete