Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Insert creative title here.



The best part of today involved watching Hurley discover sunbeams in the playroom.  The worst part of today involved watching Hurley discover cat poop in the backyard.  The sunbeam thing was funny--lots of barking, pouncing, and pawing.  The poop thing--not so much.

Crazy eyes.  Unabashedly fiending for cat poop.
I'm sore today--all my shin and ankle muscles are reawakening as a result of last night's run and I'm remembering that running involves a whole different set of muscles then, say, ballet, or P90X.  It's cool.  I'm going to do a short one on the treadmill (as soon as my dinner settles a bit) just to run a bit of the soreness out.  Thanks for all the suggestions for running groups.  I appreciate all the advice.

Here's the deal, though, you guys.  I'm terrified of new situations and group settings where I don't know anyone.  I knew that it would've helped me to train with a group for my first half marathon, and I avoided it like Swine Flu.  I just couldn't picture myself showing up to some group thing and getting the nervous shakes while I sweat puddles into my running shoes because I am Queen Dork of Shyness.  Don't go telling me all those people are nice, either.  I don't want to hear it.  I'm sure they are, but my fear is inversely related to their niceness.  Or something.  I told you I don't believe in math.  And don't go suggesting that it may actually not be too far out of my comfort zone to meet new people, since, uh, I, like meet new people and talk in front of groups for my job and I have no problem getting up in front of God and everyone and booty bumping, or rolling all over a class of sweaty people for contact improv dancing, because that's a barrel full of BS.  I approach teaching the same way I approach a role on stage--it's a persona, a mask that I wear to get through it.  Sure, I'm all sarcasm and jokes in front of my classes but if I really let myself think about all those eyes watching me--Heather, not "PDawg," or "Mrs. P", or yellow flower #2--I get all queasy in my innards.  Dance is different.  None of that awkward talking to mess things up.  You're just all hey, I'm going to lean on you now, and you just sorta hope for the best.  If you're with good people, you can run and jump and get caught.  It makes you feel like all you need in the world is for everyone to act like it's contact improv time.

I told you.  I'm an introvert disguised as an extrovert.  If I could work in a cubicle for the rest of my life and never talk to other humans in person, I'd be okay.  But that's not my job, so I wear a necessary coat of confidence in groups.  BUT I DIGRESS.  I just don't know about them running groups, y'all.  I do appreciate the individual offers for running buddies--maybe that is where I will start and I can build up from there.

I want to have friends, but yeesh it's hard work.

I'm a bit bleary in the eyes from reading essays today, and I did a lot of the sitting down kind of work that seems like it wouldn't tire you out but actually drains your energy like a slow leak.  I'm anxious for the weekend.  Who isn't though, right?

We just had a really good dinner of red snapper, strawberries, salad, and quinoa.  E's the salad eating-king now, and I never thought I'd live to see it.  Sorta reminds me that anything is possible--as if the entire rest of our life wasn't a huge reminder.  Alrighty, enough procrastination.  Off to do a little jaunt on the treadmill.


2 comments:

  1. You rock. I told myself since I am in a recovery week of P90X and since today was only "Stretch" that I could do a mini jog with the pup. Didn't happen... I haven't run in I can't even remember how long and I am scared to try it. My bones feel so heavy from P90X.. I doubt 1 week is enough for ME to recover :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are always welcome to come run with me and my gf Saturday mornings. You seem to run a faster pace then us, but we may be that motavation you need to just meet us out. No one likes a flaker. :)

    ReplyDelete