Monday, March 22, 2010

Green monster, perfected.

Heidi's totally going to gross on this, but I've been drinking Green Monsters again like it's my job.

Basically, a Green Monster is a protein shake with some spinach and blueberries thrown in for good measure.  I wrote about discovering them last summer, and subsequently drank them  off and on for a while.  Since E and I have been doing P90X every morning, we've been drinking the GMs every day.  I've even perfected a soy- and dairy-free one for him.  BOOYAH.

But I've come to discover the perfect proportions for this nutritious freak of nature, and I thought I'd share them here.  Special thanks to Liz for the idea for instant coffee... I like the caffeine kick in the morning and I like it being in something other than a $4.50 status coffee from Starbucks.

I wrote this recipe on the board the other day to PROVE to my students what was in my ugly drink.  They looked at me like I was an alien.  Around here we just call that Tuesday.  But I'm happy to report that several kids gave it the ol' high school try and were pleasantly surprised that there was nary a trace of spinach flavor.  Sneaky veggies for the WIN.  I'm converting them to the dark side.

PDawg's Bomb Diggity Greenish-Beige Monster

1 cup soy milk
1 scoop soy protein powder
2 tsp instant coffee
1/2 frozen banana
1 handful frozen blueberries
1 handful fresh or frozen spinach
1/4 cup crushed ice

I'm telling you, it's not gross.  I love food too much to waste time on things that don't taste good.  I'm also telling you that you can't taste the spinach AT ALL.  Mine tastes like a banana/berry smoothie.  I know you don't believe me, but E drinks this and he says he can't taste it.  He's, like, the pickiest eater on the planet.  And he can do it.

Photo found here.

It's not always green, sometimes it's purple or brown.  The coffee can make it kind of beige.  I don't always add coffee, but I like it.  I don't really mind the color, and I try to drink it while it's cold.  A warm smoothie isn't really that good no matter what's in it, if we're being honest.  I kind of look forward to this each morning now, and it keeps me full from about 6:00 until about 9:00 or 9:30 when I get all snacky.  No, it's not Jamba Juice, but I hope you know by now that Jamba is ice cream, and for the love of Pete, that's why it's so damn tasty.  This is going to be good for you too.

But you need an honest-to-God real blender for this.  I know.  I discovered this week that my new immersion blender is NOT SUITED at all to green monsters.  The spinach got all soggy and wound around the blades (not chopped), so drinking the smoothie was like drinking a margarita/Caesar salad combo.  I couldn't finish it.  Not up to my normal standard at all.  Little strings of spinach, just hanging between my teeth like some swamp thing... Okay, I'll stop.  When I use my normal blender, it's great.  All the spinach gets cut into these teeny, tiny, imperceptible pieces and just sneaks in there, fooling my taste buds.

Mmmm, monster-y.


  1. Sounds gross, but I'm going to try it. Can you make it with fat free milk instead of soy milk?

  2. Yes, any kind of milk. Sometimes I use cow's milk in mine. I use rice milk for E's. Any kind will work. For a first timer, I suggest no coffee. Just banana, blueberries, spinach. :)

  3. Love it.. just tried my own version tonight and am thankful for a way to use up all this spinach I bought in hopes of eating salads. This might be the only way I get enough veggies in me each day :)

  4. This whole post brought a smile to my face....I'm gonna have to try this monster out! Right after I get the appropriate blender ;)Mine was broken by someone who will remain nameless (not matt).