Sunday, November 15, 2009

Fact: January Jones annoys me.

Before I begin my anti-Jones rant, I have to laugh for a second about the dude on The Amazing Race right now who doesn't know what a candelabra is. "Are you a candelabra?" Awesome. I heart you, Phil, and your race. I'd love to go on this show, but I know it'd just reveal my lack of problem-solving skills or a likeable personality to the world. Must. Keep. Up. Fa├žade.

Did you pronounce that fah-kade like ML and I used to do in high school just so we could laugh at our awesomeness? Well I did.

Alright, Jonesy. I'm not going to solely blame you for the giant pile of suck that was Mad Men this season, but in my eyes you're about 60% responsible. Honestly, I feel sorry for the people who jumped on the bandwagon this year. Mad Men did not deliver until the second to last (penultimate for my fellow word nerds--hi-yo!) episode. Most of the time I wanted to reach into the screen and slap Betty Draper. In a show so rich with other talented female characters (I'm looking at you, Peggy and Joan), you have to do a little better. Don's mistresses show more depth of character, and Joan practically set the tone for the entire show in the very first episode.

I'm sure one could chalk (Jones') Betty's bitchiness up to the character and the period and her sham of a marriage, but here's my theory: homegirl just can't act, so she's playing her(vapid)self with some fancy clothes a girdle. Sure, she's beautiful, but she lacks one redeeming or relateable quality. Even horrid villians like Ben Linus or Lord Voldy have some kind of backstory that presents a sense of plausible motivation or redeeming quality. Betty Draper is just a skirt, some eyelashes and a pout. I'm pretty convinced that's January too.

If ever I was unsure of how I felt about her as an actress, she really sealed it with her "performance" (i.e. cue card reading) on SNL last night. It's unfortunate for her that Taylor Swift--musician, not actress--killed it the week before with real humor. Miss Jones' fart jokes and empty stand-theres just fell flat. It felt like the cast was working twice as hard just to fill in the holes.

I'm kind of glad Mad Men is over for the season. I was getting tired of waiting for Betty to grow a likeable quality and tired of waiting for a plot. I hope something else good starts back up on HBO. Until then it's all you Hank Moody.

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  1. I 100% agree with all of that. She's not that great of an actress and made Mad Men kinda sucky this season.

  2. I was so annoyed by her performance on SNL! The whole "pssst...which camera?!" bit in the beginning of her first skit was enough for me!

    I read somewhere that while January was dating Ashton Kutcher she quit modeling in NYC and moved to LA to be an 'actress.' Apparently Ashton told her she wasn't a good actress and that she should stick with modeling. I thought that was kind of mean, but now I can see what he meant!

  3. I'm going to say she was responsible for about 80% of the suck.

    Also, Hank Moody is my hero. But not like Patrick Stewart. You know what I mean.

  4. Oh my, that candelabra thing cracked me up. I was thinking that even if you've never heard the word, you could figure it out!

    What annoys me sometimes about the Amazing Race is that I don't know the time people do stuff. I wondor how long he was looking for a candelabra before he figured it out?