Thursday, September 24, 2009

Seen and heard, 9/24

Me (To a freshman boy, as a pen was leaving his outstretched hand and flying toward another student): __________, knock it off. I asked you to stop throwing things.

_________: I DIDN'T. Heeeee made meeeee.

Me: Which one is it, you didn't do it, or he made you do it? Because it's pretty hard to deny it when I watched the pen as it was was leaving your hand.

From a parent email (because of a lunch detention I assigned another kid for disruptive behavior when I had a sub): "I'd like to see the surveillance tape of that class period. I would like to review the DVR of the class..."


Oh, how I wish I had a surveillance tape! Nobody believes the stuff that goes on in my classroom.
I wish there really was a way these people could see how their children behave.

Me (to Hank and Ad in the bathtub after I heard a HUGE splash): What is going on in there?

Hank: I accidentally jumped.

Me (to my class of seniors): I'm going to give you a synopsis of each book so you can decide which one you want to read.

Student: Can I use that word for my vocabulary?

Me: Yeah, sure.

Student: Okay, how do you spell it... what was it? Syn-op-shish?

(Conversations in the bathtub... overheard...)

Ad: Want to come over for dinner? And stay?

Hank: Yeah, I don't have any parents, so sure. I cook dinner. I cook fish.

Ad: Who else is coming?

Hank: My friend Motor. Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ad: I have a question.

Hank: Okay, I don't have a mom and dad. They died.

(Don't worry, just pretend stuff. Just makes me sad that's where he's goin' tonight.) :(

Me (to E): Are you really going to eat that hash? It smells like dog food.

E: It's corned beef and potatoes.

Me: Corned beef dog food.

E: I always wanted to try dog food. I bet it would be pretty good. Didn't you see Lethal Weapon?


  1. I think that is hilarious.

  2. I tried dog jerky one time, because it smelled so much like regular beef jerky.

    It did not taste like regular beef jerky.

  3. April! What on earth?! I can't bring myself to eat REGULAR jerky, much less dog jerky! You're a brave soul.

    So Heather, your kids' bathtub talk is simultaneously adorable and curiously morbid.