Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Crazy day: before and after

BEFORE (11:00 AM):

Dread. Dread.  Dread.

I am dreaaaaaaaaaaaading this afternoon like crazy.  I'm not even sure I will post this... I think I'll wait and see how this all goes down, or maybe I'll do a before/after the meeting.  I hate confrontation.  This meeting involves some people I care about very much and it seems they're less than happy with me.  I'm afraid I'm going to go and make it all worse instead of making it all better.

One of my biggest frustrations is when I feel like someone misunderstands my actions.  I feel sick when I feel like I can't make people understand where I was coming from or if they feel like I did something terrible and I can't make them see that it wasn't what I meant to do.  That's how I feel today.  And the closer I am to those people, the harder it is.  I'm not great at shrugging off things people say even when I don't know them very well; you can imagine how it is for me when it is someone that I really care about.  I'm so emotional.

The thing is, I'm not going to change anyone's mind.  It's just so hard for me to know that someone's upset with me.  That's part of life, I know.  You can't please all of the people all of the time.  Why do I spend so much time trying?  Why does it matter to me so much?  It totally does.  I have zero confidence when it comes to face-to-face confrontation.


*heavier sigh*

I just want today to be over.  I want to be home in my red sweats and an old, soft t-shirt.  I want to go for a walk.  I want to pet my cat.  I want to take off my shoes.  I want to eat some comfort food and hug my husband.  I want to hear my kids laugh.

Five more hours...


AFTER (6:30):

Pheeeeeeoooooouf.  Well that was a day! I'm just glad it's over.  Honestly, I feel like I can face Sunday and my race with no problems if I can get through this day.  For whatever reason, minimum days feel like they're twice as long as regular days.  Maybe it's because the kids are all hyped and all anyone can do is look at the clock to see if it's time to go.  ALL DAY.

The workshop I was teaching (to teachers) went great and the meeting I was dreading was hard, but it ended well.  I feel like we resolved the issue at hand, and afterword I had a chance to make amends with some people I was worried about.  I will sleep tonight, and I'm glad I took care of it so I don't have to chew on it and worry anymore.

My foot is still so freaking gross.  No running today--and just a 2 miler tomorrow, which seems like a sunny vacation in Maui, honestly.  Two miles?  That's just fun time.  We're getting closer and closer... Half marathon this Sunday.

I'm off to marinate myself in Wednesday night TV.

1 comment:

  1. Happy to hear everything went well! Good luck with your foot the rest of this week! Are you going to take pics at the race?! I want to see!