Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ima Nerd

Every time I work really hard on a post, I get all excited. This is it, I'll think, I did it. I actually wrote something worth reading... and I'll post it assuming that in two hours I'll have loads of comments... okay, one or two, at least. I'll check the site meter and see that 120 people read the story since I posted it... I'll get all excited, then I'll click on my site and see it sitting there, waiting for me:

0 comments.

I have to laugh at myself. I seem to get the most comments when I post thoughtless crap that I don't spend more than five minutes writing. Not that I'm complaining, I love any and all comments. It just cracks me (and E) up sometimes that I'll pour my heart our or try too hard to be funny, and then I hear the internet equivalent of crickets chirping. Am I right? Anybody? Anybody?

I'll keep checking my blog around the clock after I post, hoping that I just forgot to hit 'refresh' or that something was there that hadn't posted yet. Meanwhile I'll go read 50 blogs about almost nothing where the author posts something like a picture of a girl with runny mascara lounging in a bed of weeds or a pair of shoes and gets 100 comments in an hour. I know that my stuff is too much or too long for people to read sometimes. I also love those random pictures and shoes other people post. I just love the irony when I try so hard and it doesn't happen.

When I'm teaching, it gets so awkward if they don't laugh at my stuff. I have to say I'm totally used to the crickets by now--most of what I say isn't funny to them or they don't get it--but then I can at least make fun of myself. THAT they do get. I have the awkwardness built into my shtick. You have to just own it if you teach teenagers, otherwise your life would be a living hell.

Maybe a lot of it is that most of you don't want me to know you read this blog? Or you don't know if it's okay that you do? I wish I could say to all of you once and for all that I don't mind that you're here. My mom reads this. My former students read this. E reads this. I want you to know this is okay by me. That I totally already get it that the internet is a completely public place and I don't mind you knowing anything I post here. I really don't, and what you get here is sometimes very open and honest but is also very carefully scrutinized for how much I should reveal. It's good for me to write. You're reading, I'm writing. It's all good. If I did care who read my stuff, I wouldn't link to it on Facebook or Twitter. I wouldn't put it on the internet. I embrace the openness that comes with this blog as a medium. It's actually helped bring me closer to a number of people who have commented/emailed/contacted me regarding things I've written.

I'm thankful for all approximately 119 of you who read, and for the 1 who posts a comment occasionally. I'll try to be more comment-happy with the blogs I read too. I know I'm guilty of reading blogs (mostly on my reader, which makes it harder to comment) and not clicking through to say something.

Okay, I promise only to check this 4,563 times tonight before I go to sleep.


15 comments:

  1. Well I'm a nerd too, so I'll comment. Just so that you know I feel your pain with this issue, immensely. My blog, according to the web stats, is far and away THE most popular part of my website. I think I'm at least mildly interesting, at least occasionally. I don't understand how some bloggers get so insanely popular that people clamor to leave them comments the moment they post. In a way I envy them. At the same time I'd never get around to replying to comments, and then I'd feel bad. It's bad enough that I already suck at replying to emails. However, you do have more than three times as many followers as I do, and I've been blogging for more years than you, so... hmph!

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  2. You are so funny. I am the same way with my posts... but I think I have noticed that a lot of times I don't comment just because I read and I feel like my comments are obvious. You are such a great writer, sometimes my reactions come out less organized and no where near as clever as what you write... but I always enjoy reading! :)

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  3. @Katherine--I'm so guilty too. I read your blog and many others in my reader, and I don't click through to comment. Love all the country fence drama though. Promise.

    @Tracy--thanks so much. And you go ahead and comment me any time you want. No pressure to be witty or anything. I know I'm certainly not when I comment you. I enjoy all comments so much, even little ones. :)

    Thanks for the comment love, guys!

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  4. Mrs. P (I mean Heather...wierddd)-

    This blog totally, totally had me missing your class! I'm serious. I totally know what you're talking about, because every time you tried to be funny, no one laughed. haha. I'M KIDDING. (kinda :D) But I really do miss our love/hate-ness. And bagging on Rachel.

    Yay for my first comment!
    Your best student EVER,
    Brittany Acock

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  5. I know I love to get comments on my blog too. I am so glad that I found your blog. I like your writing as well.

    Best wishes,

    Janie Out of Debt

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  6. WOOHOO comments! (PS, E was all "why'd you write that tonight, you totally sound like you're BEGGING for comments." Um...)

    @Brittany Thanks, you! I miss you too. I totally also miss that point in the year where the kids totally get the whole PDawg "thing" and they're not looking at me like I'm some alien in front of them they do not understand. At least we'll get to the good part sometime, right? I was just missing 2nd period a lot. You guys were fun, if not productive. Bagging on Rachel? Always good. Are you out there, Rachel? I miss you too.

    @Janie Thanks so much for the comment! Nice to meet you! I'm heading over to your blog now to check it out. Glad you enjoy reading. :)

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  7. Thanks for stopping by and reading. I will read your blog each day too! I will get out of my google reader and comment sometimes too. Hahaha

    All the best,

    Janie

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  8. Hey I try to comment when I can...you know that! But for me, I get writers block when commenting and creating facebook statuses. I do know everyone likes comments though...so I will have to keep them up :)

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  9. @Kayda Yes! You're such a great commenter. I appreciate them all. :)

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  10. I check all the time for comments on my blog, and I get sad when I think I've written something totally worthwhile that everyone will want to read...and then I see that there are no comments.

    Yet I'll get multiple comments on a picture of Bruiser or some random people-watching pictures that I post.

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  11. I totally leave comments on your blogs AFTER the fact...but I really had no idea how great of a writer you are! Honestly, I wish I could go back through high school english with the drive to be a great writer or probably more accurately a great story teller like you. I'll be telling a story and cut it short because I can't imagine how bad it must sound! But your posts totally keep me entertained (not the right word...maybe glued?). Anyways keep it up!

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  12. Boy do I know what you mean
    Sometimes the universe has a way of 'putting us in our place' haha
    I made the mistake of recently installing sitemeter. Everyday my stats went up and up but not the comments.. and now my stats have plummeted!! I don't know whats worse, thinking no-ones commenting or no-ones reading.. haha
    Just remember.. we do it for ourselves!! x Julie

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  13. Am I that "one"? I love to comment and to receive comments....we're very much alike my friend! :) I always enjoy reading your blog!

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  14. Alright. You've guilted me into it. This is my first blog comment, ever. Thanks for the push. Maybe now I'll be a comment queen. By the way, I really enjoy reading your blog. I think I've read every post since learning of it. And you ARE funny.

    Julie (Piscitella)

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  15. @jeni Please tell me I wasn't your English teacher... I'd hope you knew I liked to write back then. I know I had your brother, but all the years are blending together.

    @Julie@beingRUBY Maybe I need to let go of it. You're right about it being for me. Good advice. I try not to check the site meter as often anymore so I don't get overworked about it. I'll try to do the same with comments.

    @Sarah You sure do pretty good... I try to return the favor. Thanks for the compliment.

    @Julie WOW, you read my blog too! Awesome! Thanks for the comment too. Didn't mean to guilt you into it, but I'll take it. Reminds me of our pen pal days back in the day. :)

    Hooray for comments! Thanks you guys!

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