Sunday, June 21, 2009

Kynaston Family Rib Cookoff 2009

Every year on Fathers' Day, the Kynastons engage in a war of the grills. This one was no different. We all convene at Gram and Grandpa's with our best ribs, vote by secret ballot, and declare a champion. It's democracy at its tastiest.

Today's rib-fest was the second BBQ E and I were attending, and on the way back home from E's family gathering, the monkeys were so tired they passed out in the car. You'll have to forgive the crummy iPhone pics... I forgot my camera today.

Miss Roo couldn't even keep her little eyes open long enough to get out of the subdivision. Henry was snoring on the freeway. We had already eaten enough food at E's Aunt Vic's for a small army, but ribbing is serious business around here. There was no opting out of BBQ #2.

But those ribs--mmmmm! Wow, I have some great cooks in my family. Competing this year: Auntie Anne, the Bucko Brothers (Dave and Bruce), and Grandpa. I planned to make some, but it just wasn't going to happen with our needing to be in two places today. Ribs a la Uncle D had been on the original menu as well, until they got a little too "carmelized" and he had to abandon ship. Oh well. Next year.

I do have to say that things are getting a little out of hand. Auntie Anne brought two different kinds, and Bruce simply labeled his ribs "award winning." I call shenanigans. There was rumor of a Kynaston family upset in 06 because Bruce made his girls swear loyalty and padded his votes, but otherwise we run a pretty clean competition. There's too much at stake.

This year the entries were lined up side by side, along with such accoutrements as bacon cheese cornbread, apple coleslaw, homemade potato salad, corn on the cob, and deviled eggs. There would have been watermelon, had I remembered to bring it in from the car. Oh well. We can't all be winners. (At that point I'd already had a full meal of steak and salad, plus a giant bowl of mint chip ice cream... memory was beyond my capabilities.)

Dinner was great, and we all managed to choke down enough calories to last us the entire week (so much for my ever-increasing BMI, huh?) and then we sat around teasing each other and groaning about our full stomachs. In response to Lis' question about why I was walking like I was pregnant, I responded "yeah, I'm pregnant--with a cornbread baby," at one point. I know. Not my proudest moment. My brain was saturated with calories at that point.

This year's entries:

Dad's Famous Santa Maria Style Oak Barbecued Beef Ribs

Anne's Apple Smoked and Teriyaki Ribs

Uncle Bruce's Award Winning Ginger-Glazed Baby Backs

and Unkie Dave's [blackened]* Smoked Ribs

*yeah right. "Smoked" my foot.

Here's the "before" and "after"--they're all lined up. I can't believe us. Some people go wine tasting. We go rib tasting.


I know. Don't let your small children view such devastation.

In addition to the other food, we had both homemade ice cream AND lemon meringue pie for dessert. Like we needed anything else to eat. I'm going to have to run eighteen miles tomorrow. I better just get used to the idea.

Ad, stealing some chips from my perfect shot of the homemade ice cream that Mom made.

Henry, post-chocolate chips. He didn't waste his time with ice cream. He just ate chocolate chips straight out of the bowl until we caught him chocolate-handed.

Ty, my sister Lis' youngest, workin' the cornbread.

Votes were cast, ballots were counted and then audited by the
resident representative of the Franchise Tax Board...

The coveted trophy, newly bedazzled by last year's winner, Uncle Dave.

Note that Dave bedazzled his own name as well as the posterior
region of the second figure in the totem. Stay classy, Unkie Dave.

This year's winner: Uncle Bruce, with my cousin Kayla. Congrats. :)

What a strange family we are.

(I don't know what's happening to this post, but the pics keep turning sideways... aaack! Make it stop! Oh well.)


  1. So, I'm a little worried about Dave. Does he own his own Bedazzler, or did he borrow one?