Monday, June 08, 2009

Fitness: some goals


Yeah, about that.

Good intentions... I know, the road to Hell is paved with them. But in the spirit of summertime, new beginnings, and forgiveness, I'm going to forgive myself for falling off the wagon for a little while and the fact that I haven't been on a run in eight days. Wow, that's worse than I thought it was. I wasn't going to run in Disneyland because I knew how much we'd be walking, and then I wasn't running because I was packing and moving my classroom, and then I was just a big ball of suck. I own it. But I need to get my butt moving again before it's another two years and I haven't gone running. So I apologize to you, National Running Day, because I was sitting on my couch, but I was with you in spirit.

I have some fitness goals, and once again I'm going to post them here, because that means the fear of public shame will make me more likely to accomplish at least a few, if not most, of them. I am still thinking about registering for my first race, and I think that if I'm going to do that I need to keep a pretty regular schedule. Plus, I'm hoping it makes me feel better about myself. I'll talk about that in a second... but my energy level has just been ridiculously low. Maybe something is off... That's part of why I haven't been running. I need to fake it 'til I make it, and pray that once I get going, I'll be able to keep going like I was for a while.

Goals:

Running
Weekdays--run 3 or 4 days, at least 2-3 miles each time
Weekends--run 1 day, at least 4 miles, increasing miles in a few weeks on the long run

Other Stuff
Push-ups, abs, pull-ups at least 3 days a week

There, I said it. Now if I don't do it, you can call me on it.

But anyway, about what else I said. I had an initial high from how much I was loving running once I figured out my correct pace and I got into a routine, and I was so proud of myself for sticking to it, but I was having some major frustration with my weight. I've always weighed more than I look like I do, and more than most people my age, height, and build, but it didn't bother me as long as I felt okay in my own body. My BMI is always on the high end of "healthy." The number isn't super important, but one of the reasons I started running was that I wasn't feeling comfortable in my own clothes and/or self. Stuff was tight, uncomfortable, and too small that hadn't been previously. So I ran for over a month, at least four times a week, but you know what happened? I gained weight. *sigh* Not exactly what I was hoping for. I gained over 5 lbs. I was watching what I was eating, and I was doing regular cardio, which I've never done, and I was gaining. It was heartbreaking.

You know how that goes, too. I started to obsess over it, and then I thought well if I'm going to gain anyway, I'm going to eat another piece of chocolate cake and drink two lattes and fourteen cokes a day. Okay, exaggeration. But you get it. I sabatoged myself by not fueling what I needed to do with good food, thus perpetuating the crud cycle and making it worse. I weighed less this last year when I sat on my couch, did nothing, and drank beer and ate potato chips than I have for the last month when I have been running like Forest Gump on crack. What's the point? So I got so bad that I eventually took this last week off.

The point is, no more excuses. I'm going to keep at it even if I'm so big I have to buy giant granny panties and XXXL sweat pants to wear with a Speedy Gonzales tent sized T-Shirt and a pair of Crocs. And I will keep it up. I will help myself along by watching what I eat and what I buy to eat, and I will try to make sure I stick to my goals again. That's the best I can do, right? It can't hurt me to keep running. It makes me feel so accomplished, that's worth it in itself. I need to keep sight of that.

Alright, I'm gonna peace out. All 155 damn pounds of me.

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