Friday, May 01, 2009

It feels good to make plans

Where the heck was I last night? I know, right? I didn't write anything again... I was hard at work rescheduling our Mexico vacation, registering for soccer, trying to figure out the dates we're going to be in Placerville and Tahoe and Yosemite, and trying to figure out where I want to go to lunch for my birthday. I still haven't managed that last part.

Meanwhile, the nagging fact that I've been wearing the same pair of disposable contacts--yeah, the two week kind--for about three months is screaming in the back of my mind, along with the fact that the monthly pack of little pills only has so many days left before it runs out. Why is it so difficult for me to take care of my basic essential needs like sight and birth control? Seriously. I have a problem. I take procrastination to a new level.

So the vacay is all set and I have to say just how dang excited I am about it. It's actually a good thing that we couldn't decide between all-inclusive or cruise, because we didn't book yet and were about to do so when the CDC or the WHO or whoever the crap it was announced the non-essential travel ban. Whew. Oh, and did I mention that like, um, 100% of the people in our family emailed us that night to say "please don't go to Mexico... we don't want you to die..." So that's cool, I guess. I'm not really afraid of this pig flu, but I don't really want to be in a spot where it's difficult to get medical treatment, and I certainly don't want to bring it home to the monkeys. Monkeys with pig flu? Nice.

E suggested a compromise, and I think it's a good one. We were worried about dumping our two fabulously behaved children on anyone for a whole week because even fabulously behaved children are still children. Splitting it up would have meant a whole lot of back and forth, and when that happens, as it did last time E and I went to Hawaii, plans change and then we end up spending three hours on the phone everyday as a go-between, trying to make all the exchanges and meet ups and schedules jive. Pass. So we're shortening the time we're going to be away, and then we're going to do some stuff with the kids too.

The verdict? San Diego for me and E, and Lis' BFF Meg had lots of good information about where we could stay. I haven't told you about Meg yet, but she's like a member of our family. No, really. She's my other sister that lives in San Francisco. I may not see her all the time, but she's family. I had a good talk with her last night (she lived in San Diego for years while she was getting her training to be a Radiation Therapist) and it was just so good to hear her voice. She suggested a peaceful looking spot, and we booked it last night. Got a flight, got a rental car, and we're all set. E's hoping we can rent a Harley down there and ride. You know what that sounds like to me? ABSOLUTE HEAVEN. Getting to ride and not having to arrange a babysitter? Hello.

The other component of the trip is going to be taking the kids to San Francisco. I love the city, but E used to hate it. Apparently there's been some kind of change there, and he is more open to going... so I'm jumping at it. His aunt and uncle lived there and we visited once and I thought it was just fabulous. So much to do in a big city. The kids are going to love the zoo (me too, I don't think I've been) and we're just going to go explore. Sounds like nothing we'd normally do, and sounds like a bunch of fun. We got a great deal on a hotel, and I can't wait.

This is the best of both worlds. E and I need time together because we're not going to get that while he studies for the Bar. The last two trips we took were Hawaii, THREE LONG YEARS AGO, and Retrouvaille, which is basically DIVORCE CAMP. Meh. We need some time off. I'm glad we're working the kids in for part of the week though too, because they are still needing reassurance from us. Last night we called them in to our bedroom to ask them about whether or not they wanted to play PeeWee soccer this year, and when we asked them to sit down on the bed with us, Ad said "what's wrong?"

Did you feel my heart sinking all the way into my feet? It's easy for me and E to look at everything that's happened and be happy that we're moving forward, but we were reminded last night that the last year is still very fresh in our little Roo's mind. Probably for Henry too, although I know he isn't able to express it as well. I told E after she left the room that it killed me, and that it makes me want to make everything right for her for the rest of her life, just to try to compensate for what we put her through this year. The thing is you can't, and you do the best you can at the time, but part of why we're renewing our vows in a few weeks is that we know that our kids need that promise as well. They need to know that nobody is going anywhere, and there isn't going to be that awful talk anymore where we call them into a room and say that Daddy is leaving. That's never happening again.

So I feel good that we made some plans and we followed through with them. I feel good that there are so many dang things to look forward to in the next month. My birthday is tomorrow and I'm so glad to leave 29 behind. It was such a horrid year for me. I'm looking forward to a new phase of life and to what the coming years will bring for us as a family.

Oh man, just as I wrote this I realized that in addition to my vision and prescription needs that I have been putting off, I still haven't called the pastor back about the vow renewal. Just one more thing looming.


I am not going to miss you.

1 comment:

  1. Great post. Happy Birthday tomorrow, I hope you enjoy it. San Diego should be fun, glad you found somewhere close and safe! -Kayda