Monday, April 13, 2009

Just (hopefully) do it

There is no try. Only do.

Yeah, sure Yoda.

Not me. Not my town. Flickr.
The running plan: day 1. Run, for 20 minutes. Okay, I did that. Running is hard. I'm going to whine about it to you for a while.

Not really. The thing is, I respect runners. I want a runner's body. I want to be a runner. I am so totally not one though. A long time ago, I thought that my discipline from dance would allow me an easy transition to a life of running. My lithe body would slip effortlessly into a gazelle-like stride, and I'd breeze around the neighborhood for an hour or so and finally return home when I got hungry for a light lunch of cucumber salad and lemon water. Cut to me on my couch, watching "The Biggest Loser" while balancing a bowl of cookie dough ice cream and a bag of Cheetos on my lap, saying "I'll run tomorrow." I give up on running every single time I try. Did I already say this? Running is hard.

I'm not really in great shape right now either. Stop telling me I'm skinny. I know you're trying to be nice, but I'm not. I just know how to use spandex under my clothes well and how to dress like a skinny person. I have about four feet of hangy skin on my belly from having the kids... I just tuck it up inside every day. The problem is, the extra skin is filling up with Oreo lard. Yeah. I said it. Jealous?

Okay. Enough gross talk. I need to run. My lack of enthusiasm for teaching dance at school for the rest of this semester has led me to take every easy way out, and my middle (read: entire body) is suffering. If I am not going to dance right now, I need to do something.

Side note: Did I ever tell you, Internet, that I have a PE credential in addition to my English credential? Isn't that silly? Not a supplementary credential, an honest-to-God PE credential. I had to get one to teach dance in the state of California. Here's why it is silly. I know NOTHING about sports. Nothing. Picture this: awkward little 5th grade me, being the last one picked for every sport. Now you taste my pain. Well, sorta. I had a great childhood once I discovered that dance was my thing. But I don't know anything about sports or sports rules or sports play. I just faked my way through that PE test with some beautiful writing and a lot of talk about proper body alignment. God bless my ability to organize an essay, but no one on earth should be learning the rules of badminton at my hand.

So when it came time to design my post-high school dance workout regimen, running seemed like the most obvious choice. All you need is a good pair of shoes, right? My problem is that I like planning my run more than I actually like doing my run.

I'm making myself blog about this because I want to see how long it lasts. I know if I feel like I have to get online and post "I ran today" I will be more likely to do it, because I'm an attention whore. Or because I'm honest. I'm not sure which. Maybe both. For now, I feel proud of myself for my 20 minutes of health.

Plus, if I fail at this it will make for some spectacular self-deprecating blog posts. Win-win.

Have a good night. Tired I am.


  1. I'm not in shape either. Not, that I hate my body. It looks fine. [although I have some flabby skin from my baby too]. But, looking good doesnt mean you can run. And I can't. I get tired walking upstairs and going to get the mail.

    But the reason I am commenting is because I also love watching the Biggest Loser. And I too, watch it while eating junk food. Christopher cracks jokes probably weekly because we are always eating crap as we watch it.

  2. Running sucks. It's bad for your knees and it'll make your boobs saggy. I feel your pain though, I'm trying to get back into a bicycling routine and will use ANY excuse to not do it. Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow (actually, I went today, so yay for me!)

  3. More power to ya, but I will never understand anyone who *chooses* to should only ever be done out of necessity, like when an angry mob is after you.

  4. LOL... when I am trying to get my dancers to run and not look like complete ninnies, I tell them to RUN LIKE A BEAR IS AFTER YOU... RUN LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Guess I should take my own advice. :)